Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Assorted Weirdness

I had a dream this night about sex. Well, almost.

Actually, it was about almost having sex. You see, I have this problem of being totally unable to cheat on my girlfriend in my dreams. Does this sound sick? I think it does.

So I was dreaming of someone I know, and I was absolutely positive she was coming on to me. We were in her house (extremely large living room, white tile floor, black grand piano which I was sitting in front of), when she returned from I can't remember where, she must have gone Freshen Up or Slip Into Something More Comfortable. Anyway, when she stood next to me, I noticed her right shoulder was bare. Figures, I thought, she wants to get me into bed, but I am already spoken for, so I can't do it, must be strong, think of something unerotic, etc.

When I turned to look at her, I saw that she was completely nude and had draped green grapes over her body. I was surprised and also impressed by her imaginativeness and boldness.

I was awakened by the sound of my girlfriend's cat puking under my bed.

And another thing: The world record in long-time kissing is a little over thirty-one hours. Disgusting. I hate those assholes who make me think of that. It's haunting me. Can't get it out of my mind.


Blogger map said...

I love the anticlimactic-ness of this story. Going from grapes to coughed up hair balls: Brilliant.

4:32 PM  
Blogger evilgerman said...

oh my... i was googling around for my site and found yours instead... hit 2 via
Don't Be Evil: German Connector

... but this post with the grapes was even more fantastic.

8:53 PM  
Blogger Tobias Klüpfel said...

Thank you Ms. German (or is it Ms Evil?)

9:39 AM  

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